Existence and Essence
by Amethyst Jackson
Summary: Bonne Foi from Bella’s point of view. Bella knows the man she meets late one night on campus is not what he seems, but is that reason enough to turn away?
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Existence and Essence

**Author:** Amethyst Jackson

**Category:** Drama, Romance

**Rating:** M

**Summary: **_Bonne Foi_ from Bella's point of view. Bella knows the man she meets late one night on campus is not what he seems, but is that reason enough to turn away?

**Disclaimer:** A writer is like a goddess in her universe…but only one writer is making the money off Twilight, and that's Stephenie Meyer. These are her characters, and I'm just having fun with them.

**A/N:** I wrote this first chapter in BPoV for **Elizabethan**, who bought my services in the first **Fandom Gives Back** auction. I've given it a new title because a) "Bonne Foi BPoV" isn't much of a title, and b) I think Bella has her own story to tell (she turned out to be wordier than Edward). I will be continuing this in some form or another – either a full BPoV, or certain chapters – once _Bonne Foi_ is complete. For now, enjoy the beginning.

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**Chapter One**

It was late, the library was empty, and the words were blurring on the page in front of me, but I _had_ to finish this reading. It didn't matter if I was tired.

I just had to keep telling myself that.

Of course, my resolve was all for naught. I fell asleep on top of Mansfield Park and didn't wake until the library staffer came by and woke me with the message that the library was closing.

Great.

I convinced her to check my books out, even though her hours were over, and began the long trudge back to the dorms with my pile of books. My major weighed a ton.

The campus was quiet this time of night, too quiet. Sometimes it felt peaceful to me, but tonight, it made me nervous. The clouds hung thick over the campus like a blanket, and no moonlight broke through…the shadows were heavy. Unbidden, newspaper headlines flashed through my head – _Killer targets coeds, serial killer claims fourth victim_…

I'd brushed off my dad's worries, but I couldn't help a little tingle of fear, being out here alone. I searched my pocket for the pepper spray I usually carried and realized I'd left it in my bag in my room.

The sound of sudden footsteps behind me caught me off guard, and as I tried to pick up speed, my toe caught on the uneven sidewalk – damned cheap board of trustees never would fix anything around here – and, predictably, all my books flew from my arms as I struggled to regain my precarious balance.

And then, out of nowhere, he was there, gathering up my fallen books. My first impression of him was a shock of auburn hair, the strangest color I'd ever seen…not red, but not brown, either.

When he looked up, my breath caught. Maybe it was that his eyes were such a stark black that they frightened me, or maybe it was that he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Either way, I was lost when his full lips twisted into a smile.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he said in a smooth voice as he straightened and handed me back my books. He was taller than I expected, and his body was beautifully lean and muscular. I felt an awareness in my body that I'd only felt once or twice before, and never this strongly – I _wanted_ him.

"That's all right," I said, blushing at my own thoughts. He was just a man, I chided myself.

Something made his eyes widen, and impossibly, they darkened. He looked…dangerous. He _was_ dangerous; my instincts told me so, made my heart pound and the adrenaline flow freely. Could _he_ be the serial killer?

"I'm just jumpy," I said, more for my benefit than his. "You know, with that serial killer running around still."

How would he react to the mention of the murderer stalking our campus? And just what did I expect, a complete confession?

"Right," he said, his face suddenly contorting into an expression of concern, though there was something off about it. "You really shouldn't be walking alone like this. It's dangerous."

I was being stupid. He was just a nice guy, and I shouldn't punish him for that.

"I don't have much choice," I shrugged. "I have to work to pay my tuition, so I have to do my homework late at night…"

"Let me walk with you," he offered with a gentle smile. There was something not quite right about that smile, but I couldn't put my finger on it. It wasn't exactly kind, but it didn't feel malicious, either. It was almost as if he just didn't know _how_ to smile, and that triggered an inexplicable sadness in me.

"Okay," I agreed because I was curious about this man, and if he wanted to hurt me, he would probably find a way to do it with or without my help. Still, I hugged my books to my chest, hoping he didn't have any such plans. I wanted to be right in trusting him because he looked like someone that needed somebody to have a little faith in him. His eyes were cold and hard, but they were bleak around the edges, suggesting there was something more beneath the surface. I wanted to dive into that enigma, even if I would drown in it.

"May I ask your name?" he asked me, interrupting my steam of consciousness.

Of course, he was completely oblivious to my thoughts, and he startled me when he struck up a perfectly normal conversation. I don't know what I had expected – just because he was strange didn't mean he would voluntarily spill out his secrets to me.

"Bella Swan," I told him, even as the part of my brain that was always a cop's daughter berated me. If he was some creepy stalker-slash-serial-killer, my full name was probably enough to get him all the information he needed to break into my room and murder me in my sleep. The rather unhelpful part of my brain reminded me that he was already following me to my dorm, so he would know where I lived anyway. I ignored both and glanced at him. "May I ask yours?"

"Edward Masen," he replied with a quirk of his lips. All doubts and speculations aside, my body reacted powerfully to this creature. His smile really was charming, even if it looked as though he didn't do it often enough, and he had a voice that caressed each word like a brush of velvet on skin. I couldn't deny the possibility that my desire for him to be trustworthy might be fueled by my strong attraction to him.

His eyes lingered on me a bit too long, as though he were waiting for something that I wasn't offering. I was about to feel self-conscious – or more self-conscious, at least – when he spoke again. "Where are you headed?"

"Collins," I told him, then bit my lip in punishment for divulging yet more information to a perfect stranger. But he really was a _perfect_ stranger, at least in the physical sense, and my name alone would already be enough for him to find out where I lived through the university directory.

"A freshman, then?" he asked, though the answer was obvious. Only freshmen lived in Collins. I wondered if he would be turned off that I was so young, and then wanted to kick myself for such a thought. I'd never indulged in this kind of girly thinking before. Anyway, it shouldn't matter if I was a freshman – he didn't look like he could be a day older than I was.

"Yes," I confirmed unnecessarily, because he'd framed it as a question. "What about you?"

"A sophomore," he said simply. I frowned.

"You don't look like a sophomore," I said without thinking. I wished I could take it back – I didn't want to offend him – but he really didn't look a day over twenty. At the same time, there was something in his eyes that seemed much older than twenty. I couldn't figure him out.

"You don't look like a freshman," he retorted with a crooked grin that revealed a dimple in his left cheek and the whitest set of teeth I'd ever seen. I had to tighten my fingers' grip on my books to resist reaching out and touching his full lower lip.

I needed to change the subject and get that grin off his face before I did something stupid. "What do you do?" I blurted out, and then wanted to smack myself. Obviously, he was a student.

"I mean, what do you study? I know I've never seen you before…" I murmured, voicing my thoughts aloud. I could guess that it was probably science or business because it was a small campus. If he studied the humanities, I would have at least seen him in passing in one of the two buildings those classes were held in. "I would remember."

I blushed at the thought. Yes, I would definitely remember seeing Edward. Even if I never saw him again after tonight, I was fairly certain I would remember his face for the rest of my life.

He was eyeing my flushed cheeks strangely, probably wondering what was wrong with me. "I haven't declared yet. I'm thinking about psychology, though. What about you?"

"English," I answered distractedly, wondering what his possible psychology major said about him. "I've always loved the way a book seems different every time you read it, because your mind processes it differently." I realized I was babbling, and stopped myself quickly, forcing myself to focus on the conversation instead of wondering if he was more of a Freud or a Rogers or an Adler. "I'm sorry, that was probably more than you wanted to know."

"Not at all," he said with a little shrug, and he looked like he really had been interested in what I was saying. I must have imagined it, though, because he quickly changed the subject. "Are you from around here, Bella?"

"Not really," I answered, almost on autopilot. I'd answered this question more times than I could count in freshman orientation. "I lived with my mom in Phoenix until she remarried when I was seventeen. I moved to Forks to live with my dad. You've probably never heard of Forks, though."

I wondered if I should tell him my dad was a cop. If he were a serial killer, that might dissuade him from doing whatever he might be planning. On the other hand, I had pretty much dismissed the possibility by now, and if by some miracle he was actually interested in me, I didn't want to scare him off with the cop talk.

"No, I'm afraid not," he told me, and I wasn't surprised. No one had heard of Forks except the people who lived there or competed against us in sports. "A small town?"

"Very," I laughed. Forks made Mayberry look metropolitan. "Most boring two years of my life." Well, that wasn't quite true. My life in Forks had been eventful, just not in a good way.

"Surely you must have had friends…boyfriends…"

"No, and no," I answered. Was he seriously fishing for information about my relationship status? I felt a weird rush of giddiness heat up my face before it was quickly crushed as I remembered _why_ I'd had a negligible social life. It was hard to feel normal when the whole school knew your uterus was missing. But then, I had never been normal, had I? Even before the accident, I had been a pariah.

"I've never really fit in anywhere," I admitted to the beautiful boy walking beside me, because as much as I wanted him to like me, he deserved to know what he might be getting himself into.

"I can't imagine why. You look normal enough to me," he added casually. With his hands in his pockets and a little smile on his lips, he looked so at ease. I wished I could feel as comfortable in my own skin as he seemed to be.

"It's like my brain works differently than everyone else's or something. It turns people off," I told him, shrugging like that could offset my weirdness. I wasn't even going to get into the other reason why people gave me funny looks.

"Normal minds are boring, anyway. People are so predictable." I might have thought that was his way of telling me he didn't care that I was a freak, had it not been for the heavy tone of his voice. He sounded so _jaded_.

"I'm surprised you want to study psychology, then," I said, hoping to get more information out of him. What could have happened in this guy's life to make him sound like he'd already seen and done it all? How could someone so young be so cynical?

He shrugged his shoulders tensely, and I knew I wouldn't be getting any real answers anytime soon. "It's the abnormal minds that are interesting," he said.

"Well, you'll have fun with me, then," I sighed, a little disappointed with his lack of candor. "Just call me Exhibit A."

"I can think of much better things to do with you than study you," he said. It only took me a second to understand what he was implying, and my whole body grew instantly hotter at the images that flashed through my head. Just the thought of being tangled up naked with this man had me more turned on than any provocative film or erotic novel ever had.

I scrambled for something to say in response, something flirtatious and casual and cool, but I had nothing. We walked in silence, and I stared at the ground like the moron I was.

"Do you already have a lot of work?" he asked eventually, startling me. A glance to the side showed his long-fingered right hand gesturing to my books.

"A paper, as usual," I sighed, reminded again of how little work I'd actually accomplished tonight. This week would be horrible. "That's the one drawback of being an English major. I feel like I have to write a paper about everything I read."

"You sound stressed." His voice was sympathetic, almost crooning. I had the inexplicable urge to snuggle into his body and just melt away.

"I guess," I managed, trying not to drift closer to him as we reached the end of the sidewalk. "Like I said, I have to work, so…it makes everything harder."

"Would you like to come someplace with me?" he asked, smiling crookedly. My heart felt like it would leap from my chest. "Of course, if you don't feel comfortable, I would understand, but it's a place I like to go when I need to relax. I think you would enjoy it."

I glanced across the street to my dorm, where light shone from the lobby. As I saw it, I had two choices. One: I could refuse, retreat to the safety of my dorm room, go about my joyless life, and probably say goodbye forever to the most beautiful man I had ever laid eyes on. Two: I could ignore everything I'd ever been taught and go with this man, risking all the harm, both physical and emotional, that he could do to me.

In the end, there was no choice. Walking away from Edward and losing whatever opportunity I had with him terrified me more than any contemplation of the violence I might suffer. That was saying a lot, since my brain was screaming at me to run like hell from the risk of ending up with my throat ripped out like the girls in the newspapers. Still, that fear was only in my head; my gut told me different things. Every instinct told me that I was safe, that he was good even as he was dangerous, and that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't go with him now.

He smiled down at me. I took a deep breath. "Okay."

Edward's smile widened, showing me two rows of gleaming white teeth. "Wonderful. My car is just down the street."

I returned his smile, noting that this one reached his eyes just the slightest bit. The sight reassured me. It told me that despite his jaded demeanor, he could still feel. Maybe I could be the one to bring him out of his shell, as absurd as that would be. I had nothing special to offer, nothing he couldn't get from anyone else.

We resumed walking, and his hand came to rest on the small of my back. His hand was cold, cold enough to force a shiver. At the same time, warmth radiated across my back from the point where his fingers touched me. I couldn't make sense of it.

There had to be a rational explanation for why his hands were so cold when the air around us was warm, almost muggy. Some kind of medical condition, perhaps? Poor circulation?

What puzzled me more than his temperature, however, was how my body reacted to his touch. I'd never felt anything like it. I'd been on only one date in my life – an awful evening at the movies that ended with Mike Newton vomiting in the bathroom and me sitting in the theater alone – and Mike's arm around my shoulder had felt uncomfortable at best. Nothing like _this_.

Edward's slight touch made me crave more. I knew, wherever he was taking me, that there was a very good chance his intentions could be sexual in nature – and if that was the case, there was a good chance I would let him touch me, if not more. I might not be strong enough to resist, and I might not want to resist. Was this typical for him? I didn't really believe he was the so-called Campus Killer, but what if he was he was still an unsavory character? What if he made a habit of picking up gullible young freshmen and charming them with his I'm-a-gentleman-let-me-walk-you-home routine?

I had to know, but there was no way to ask without being completely rude and offensive. Normal girls would find some sneaky way to get answers in this situation, but could I pull off that sort of thing?

I would have to try. I had to know at the very least that even if I never saw Edward again after tonight, I would be a unique case for him, and not a notch in his bedpost.

"Um," I began, feeling like an idiot. I shifted my books from one arm to the other, stalling. "Won't your…won't your girlfriend mind this?"

Edward laughed; he saw right through me. "I don't have a girlfriend." He shot me a smirk that said he knew exactly what I was thinking. "You don't think I invite just anyone to my special place, do you?"

"Well, I don't really know you, do I?" I was blushing fiercely, embarrassed at my lack of social grace. Still, I wasn't quite comforted. He _seemed_ sincere, but there was just something off about him. Something strange.

He turned his head to me and smiled, almost gently this time. "I'm not that kind of guy, Bella."

I believed him, so much that I felt guilty for doubting him. Was my worldview so skewed that I couldn't believe Edward was simply a nice guy who wanted to be friendly?

"Sorry," I mumbled. I felt ashamed. "I don't trust people easily."

He shrugged, nonchalant, apparently unoffended by my behavior. "It's good to be on your guard. The world is a dangerous place."

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," I said, studying his face. He sounded _tired_.

"I've seen some unpleasant things in my time," he said. His voice was flat and unemotional. Again, I craved to know what had made him that way.

We walked a little further, passing the university's sports complex before he came to a stop. "Here's my car."

I gaped at the vehicle to which he gestured. It was jet black, perfectly clean, gleaming under a streetlight. Sporty and sleek, I guessed that whatever model it was, it was incredibly expensive.

"Wow," I managed. "Your parents must be loaded."

He opened the passenger door for me. "They were. They died a long time ago."

"Oh," I said dumbly. I'd been suspecting the worst of him all night, and he'd lost his parents…. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean –"

He waved my apology away with the hand that wasn't holding the door. "No need. I've had a long time to get used to it."

I wanted to keep apologizing – not necessarily for my faux pas, but rather, for everything. I was sorry I'd suspected badly of him, sorry life had been unkind to him, and sorry he was alone.

Edward didn't speak as he began to drive, leading us out of the city limits. The silence drove me crazy. Was he angry, annoyed? Had I ruined our time together by bringing up unpleasant memories?

"So, I never asked where you were from," I said after taking a deep breath, twisting in the leather bucket seat to look at him. He was ridiculously…sexy driving this stylish car with the fingers of his left hand curled casually around the steering wheel. His right hand gripped the gear shaft, and his arm flexed fluidly with every gear shift.

"Chicago," he said simply, staring straight ahead. Chicago? I'd been expecting Seattle, somewhere in the area. It only made me more curious about him.

"Huh. Why did you decide to come to Washington, then? I mean, if you can afford this car, surely you could go anywhere you wanted…"

"I hate the city," he said. His voice was still so emotionless. "I mean, I like to be near a city, for its resources, but the noise is unbearable."

Edward was hiding something; I was pretty sure of it. His answers were logical, but didn't really tell me anything. As much as I wanted to come right out and ask him what his story was, I suspected his reticence was related to whatever had taken his parents' lives, and having been through a certain amount of trauma of my own, I didn't want to push.

"That makes sense," I settled for saying. "I'm not big on cities, either, but I hate Washington. It's too wet."

Edward let out a chuckle. The sound was throaty, masculine. "Yes, it is that."

"Where are we going that's so far outside the city?" I asked, watching the dark shape of trees fly by out the window.

"A place in the wilderness," he replied. "Just far enough from civilization.

It made me nervous, as much as I didn't want to be. Why the hell did we need to be far from civilization?

"You're not an ax-murderer, are you?" I blurted out, desperate to be reassured.

"No," he laughed, looking genuinely amused.

"Well, good," I sighed, fairly comforted. "I sort of like my head where it is."

Edward snorted, a small smile on his lips, but he didn't say anything else. It was frustrating; I wanted him to justify my irrational, instinctive trust in him, but he wasn't giving me anything.

I'd just have to be pushy about it, I supposed.

"Tell me more about you."

His eyes flickered away from the road to my face, and then back again. "What do you want to know?"

I swallowed my impatience. "I don't know…what are your interests? What do you do when you're not in class?"

He frowned for a moment, thinking. His lips formed the most delicious pout. How would it feel to kiss them?

"Well, I run," he finally began. "I read a lot, and listen to music. I watch a lot of films, too."

They were all incredibly solitary activities, which confirmed my suspicions that he was all alone. There was no talk of friends, of relatives, or of any kind of group activity. Imagining the lonely life he led made me incredibly sad for him. He must be desperate for companionship.

"What's your favorite book?" I asked. It was a safe topic for me, and one that I felt might tell me more about the inner workings of this man's mind.

"The Stranger," he answered easily.

"Camus? You like existentialism?"

"You don't?" he retorted, cocking one of his perfect eyebrows in an expression of crafted disbelief.

"No, I do," I said, trying to mask my surprise. "I think it's a great philosophy – living your life to be the best you can be and taking responsibility for your actions, whether others judge them as good or bad."

Existentialism was the philosophy by which I lived, but I couldn't reconcile my understanding of it with Edward. For me, existentialism was all about hope, about the human potential to be whatever one set out to be. Edward, however, seemed so passive, so disconnected…so like the narrator of _L'Étranger_, who cared for no one and nothing.

"That's not quite what I got out of it," Edward told me, and this time, I wasn't surprised.

"Oh? What did you think?"

"Meursault acts outside of society's expectations, but he's still bound by them. It's not until he accepts that it doesn't really matter that he's finally happy."

Oh, dear. He'd reached the exact wrong conclusion that left so many people thinking of existentialism as a bleak and depressing philosophy. Meursault had never been unhappy because he'd been trapped into conforming to society; his apathy was the source of his misery. He'd refused to make any decisions about his life, and that had ultimately doomed him.

"I think you sort of missed the point," I told Edward, hoping he wouldn't be offended – I felt compelled to show him a more positive way of thinking. "Meursault was miserable because he never took responsibility for his life. He just drifted through it, accepting whatever he thought fate threw at him. He was finally happy when he truly accepted that there was nothing more than this life – no God, no heaven, and no fate. He realized we have only one life and that it's the sum of our choices that make up the outcome, not what's handed to us."

He stared at me, not paying enough attention to the road, though the car never deviated from its course. Shit. He wasn't looking at me like he was offended, but rather, like I had two heads.

"What? Does that not make sense?" I asked nervously.

"No, it makes perfect sense," he eventually replied, sounding genuinely stunned. "I'm just surprised at your perceptiveness."

Now _I_ was offended. "Did you think I was just some dumb girl?"

"No." He shot me that teasing smirk that inexplicably made me want to lick the dimple in his cheek. "It was hard to miss that pile of books in your arms. I'm just amazed – no one's ever made me feel like such an idiot before."

Crap, I had offended him. "Sorry, I tend to speak before I think sometimes."

"Don't apologize. It was refreshing," he assured me, and he seemed to mean it. "And we're here."

He pulled over at the side of the road, alongside a virtual wall of trees. The area was completely abandoned; the only light came from the car's headlights and the stars that were clearly visible this far from town. If anything happened to me out here, there would be no one to help….

"Is this it?" I asked, unable to overcome my unease. Edward struck me as a good person, but why would he take me out on a deserted road surrounded by trees? What did he intend to do here?

"No, it's just through the trees there," he said, nodding out the window. "You trust me, don't you?"

I nodded because, in spite of all rational thought, I did trust him. I had no choice but to trust him, as if my very soul demanded it.

He offered me another charming smile and climbed out of the car. I was slower, and he was standing there waiting for me when I made it out of the passenger's seat. He didn't bother to lock the car, but then, who would be around to steal it here?

I followed him through the trees, and as soon as the small clearing came into view, I knew I'd made the right decision. No monster could possibly appreciate a place as pure as this.

Under the soft starlight, the clearing was incredibly beautiful. Surrounded by moss-covered trees, the area was carpeted with springy grass, dotted with tiny, white wildflowers. It was understated and timeless. I was in awe.

"Wow. This really is lovely," I said as I examined my surroundings. Tipping my head back, I could see through the opening in the trees a million stars, unobstructed by city lights.

Looking ahead once more, I found Edward watching me with intensity. It should have made me nervous, but somehow…I felt certain that he wouldn't harm me.

"How often do you come here?" I asked him, eager for conversation to dissipate the tension.

"Every week or so, whenever I need to get away," he replied, venturing nearer.

No, a monster wouldn't seek comfort in a place like this. A monster wouldn't want it. "How did you find it?"

He shrugged. "I hike a lot on the weekends. I just stumbled upon it one day."

"Hmm." I lowered myself to the ground and lay back, staring up at the stars, seeing his face in my periphery. Edward was such an enigma. He volunteered so little information about himself, but I felt as though he had a whole universe lurking beneath the surface. I wanted to tunnel my way inside.

After a few self-conscious moments, I sensed him sinking down beside me, sitting upright, his arms around his knees. Again, I was struck with the notion that he was incredibly lonely.

"Do you have any siblings, Edward?"

"No. Do you?" He was always so blunt, and yet, his directness hid so much. What a paradox he was.

"No, my parents divorced when I was two, so there was no time for them," I told him. "And then my dad never remarried, and my mom didn't want any more children when she remarried. She was always more the child than the mother anyway. I always wished I had an older sibling, though…someone who could look after me for a change."

"Your father didn't look after you?" Though he didn't express any emotion of his own, I saw empathy in his eyes and read concern in the sharpness of his tone.

"He tried," I said, shaking my head, "But by the time I moved in with him, I could take care of myself. Besides, he couldn't cook _at all_."

He laughed, as I hoped he would. I had already grown to adore his laugh – deep, throaty, and hardened, but hiding a boyish joy that still lurked beneath the surface. "That's unfortunate," he said.

"It's almost easier now with only myself to worry about," I said, confessing to him what I'd never admitted to myself. It was effortless.

"Why did you stay in Washington, then, if you hate the wet?" he asked abruptly.

"Cheaper," I sighed. I'd wanted to return to Arizona, but by then, my mother had relocated to Florida. "And my friend Angela wanted to be roommates, so it seemed as good as any other option."

Edward didn't say anything in response. I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of his presence beside me. I wished I could know what he was thinking; I wished I was brave enough to ask him. A part of me didn't want to know, and another part of me decided it didn't matter. Lying beside him, I felt at ease in a way that I did with nobody else. What more did I need to know?

Out of nowhere, I felt something cold touch my lips. Instinctively, I recognized his touch. The cold should have made me uncomfortable, maybe even afraid, but it just…didn't.

I opened my eyes, finding his stark, black ones looking down at me. Was that lust in his eyes? I knew it was lust rocketing through my veins, pure want for this man, this exquisite creature that was touching _me_. My lips were on fire from the simple touch of his finger, and he was leaning in, lowering his head to mine –

Our lips touched. It was…well, it simply _was_. His kiss made the outside world, the ground beneath us, and the air around us completely irrelevant. He kissed me with such delicate care that I only craved him more. Acting on instinct, as I had all evening, I wound my arms around his neck and arched my body into his. There was no going back.

Edward released a breath through his nose as I practically threw myself onto him, and it smelled so _sweet_. I had to taste him. I'd never kissed anyone like this, not even close, but my body knew what to do. My mouth opened, my tongue searching out his smooth lips. His mouth opened under mine, and I tentatively touched my tongue to his. The inside of his mouth was cold, like his hands and his lips and his neck under my fingertips, but the strangeness wasn't a turn-off. I brushed his cold tongue with mine, tasting honey and spice and sheer perfection. Like an addict, I sought more, more, _more_.

Out of nowhere, he lifted me from the ground and into his lap. I moaned at his strength and the feeling that coursed through me as my legs straddled his and my sex settled against his erection. I'd never felt a man hard before, and hard for _me_, no less. The sense of empowerment was…heady.

Edward gave me no time for second thoughts – not that I would have entertained them anyway – as he overwhelmed my senses with kisses roaming my face and neck and his hands snaking under my shirt. I felt his hands pulling up at the hem, and I lifted my arms, allowing him to remove it while not allowing myself to think. If I thought about what was happening, I might ask him not to take off my bra like he was doing at this very moment, and then – oh, then his hands wouldn't be on me. Edward gazed hungrily at my body as he palmed my breasts. I watched his hands, long-fingered and so beautiful, as my nipples tightened painfully under his cold touch.

As he caressed me, Edward let out the most beautiful groan, a sound that told me irrefutably that I felt as good to him as he did to me. That sound and the heat that flowed from my breasts to my groin had me grinding against him, desperate for friction, desperate for release.

Never taking his eyes from my body, Edward lowered his head, taking my left nipple between his red lips. His tongue laved against me. I writhed and grasped his hair and panted his name, needing something, _anything_ to soothe the unbearable ache.

He looked up at me, the tip of my breast still in his mouth, and the hint of a smirk played about his lips. A new wave of arousal flooded me, and I reached for his shirt.

"More," I begged, tugging. He brushed my hands away and lifted it himself. I gawked unabashedly as his torso was revealed to me, long and leanly muscled, his incredibly pale skin almost glistening in the meager starlight. My mouth crashed against his as I reached out to touch him, feeling his cool, hard chest and abdomen. He felt like a marble statue under my hands, and as much as I knew that was unnatural, my body responded with hunger. He felt powerful, indestructible even, and heaven help me if that wasn't a turn-on.

He held me against him, his large hands roaming over my back, my hips, my ass. His hips rocked lightly into mine. I think I might have gone insane with lust. Whatever the reason, I attacked him with my lips, tasting his neck with my tongue, biting into his skin to see just how hard it was. I didn't even leave a mark. His skin tasted sweet like his mouth, but less intense. I pressed my body tightly to his as I savored his skin, enjoying the way my body tingled and tightened in response to his coldness.

His arms circled around me and he grasped my bottom, almost grinding my body against his. "More, please, more," I gasped out without thinking.

He laid me back easily in the grass and pulled away, tugging off my tennis shoes and socks. I studied him as he worked, taking in the dusky color of his nipples, the ridges of his abdomen, the light trail of hair that practically made an arrow with the deep-cut V of his pelvis…God, he was gorgeous.

My shoes were tossed aside, and he leaned forward, reaching with nimble fingers to unbutton and unzip my jeans. He didn't even hesitate before taking them off me, his fingers trailing along my legs as he went.

Once they were gone, he leaned forward, lowering his head between my legs. Just the sight of him there caused a new rush of wetness. Was he _supposed_ to look that sexy with his head between my legs, or was I a complete pervert?

I watched, breathless, as he pulled away my cotton panties and tossed them aside with the rest of my clothing. He moved back slowly, grazing my thighs with his careful fingers before he was _right there_. His tongue came out to lave against me, causing unbearable pleasure to coil in that spot, tight and paralyzing. I let out an embarrassingly pathetic whimper as he continued, circling his tongue around and around, then pressing it inside me before repeating the whole process. I was going to explode, if I didn't die first.

I felt two of Edward's fingers carefully test my opening, and he groaned against me like he was truly enjoying what he was doing. The vibrations fluttered against my most sensitive skin. I moaned back, and he sped up his mouth's movements while his fingers slid inside me.

His perfectly coordinated movements – the flick of his tongue in perfect tandem with the pump of his fingers – sent me into a tailspin.

"E-Edward – oh!" I cried out like the idiot he'd turned me into with his expert touch. I grasped at his silken hair, torn between pushing him closer and pulling him away. It felt _too_ good. I wasn't sure I could handle it much longer…

His fingers curled inside me, hitting a spot that I didn't even know I had, making my hips jerk. I clutched at the grass with the hand that wasn't tugging on his hair for dear life.

His mouth sucked at my clit. I was crashing. His fingers hit that spot again. I was burning. He let out a growl, a primal, rumbling sound, and – oh, God – I was _coming_.

An unearthly cry tore from my throat as my body jerked and writhed without my permission. I didn't care. The tight little coil that had been forming had sprung loose, and it had opened a floodgate, releasing a torrent of heat and ecstasy.

Only when I felt I was about to finally wash ashore did Edward stop and pull away. I took a moment to catch my breath before I opened my eyes. He started down at me, observing me so intently that I blushed.

With a look of strange concentration on his face, he reached out and cupped his hand to my cheek. The gesture was surprisingly tender, and it awoke me very briefly to the reality of this moment. This…wasn't an act of love or even affection. This was very likely a one-night stand. Had I fallen for a ploy, given in to someone unworthy? I didn't think I had, not when he looked at me like he was now. Was that enough to make something more? Was I going to regret this?

Edward kissed me again, and I knew the answer: no, I would never regret this. I'd never felt so fantastic in my life, never felt so alive. If I never saw Edward again, at least I had this perfect memory.

His lips were like dry ice caressing mine. My hands clutched his shoulders as I kissed him back, trying to memorize his unique taste. Maybe someday, I'd figure out the various elements of his flavor.

I ran my hands down his back, feeling his perfect, unblemished skin until I felt the slope of his rear under my fingertips. Edward let out that ridiculously sexy growling sound again and thrust his hips forward, pressing his cock against me.

I gasped in surprise. Surprise because it was there, and surprise because it was cold, like everything else about him. Surprise, too, because that didn't bother me, either.

"Do you want this?" he asked, eyes blazing down at me. Clearly, _he_ wanted this, and that steeled my resolve.

"Yes," I breathed, captivated by the look in his eyes as he pressed against my entrance. He was so _hard_. Of course, I knew he was supposed to be, but this was harder than human hard…this was unreal.

Edward eased in slowly, for a moment. It felt good, stretching me, but not painfully. His head dropped to my shoulder as if he didn't have the strength to hold it up any longer, and then, too suddenly, he was all the way inside me.

_Ow_.

It hurt. It _really _hurt. There was the stinging pain of my broken maidenhead and the stretching, aching pain of my body trying to accommodate his size. His coldness turned out to be a blessing in disguise; it had a numbing effect, gradually lessening the pain.

Edward had frozen, and he stared down at me in horror. I realized he was looking at the tears I could now feel on my cheeks.

"Are you okay?" he whispered. He didn't say he was sorry, but I could see it on his face – as if he should be sorry. I was the one who hadn't told him I was a virgin.

"Yes. Don't stop." And I was okay. The pain had eased to a dull ache, fading into the background; it couldn't compete with feeling him _inside of me_. I'd never felt anything so intimate.

Edward's brow crinkled in concentration as he pulled back and pushed in again. I watched him as he repeated the motion; the look of pleasure on his face was staggering. I felt the coil return, tightening with every pass. And then, out of nowhere, the friction started to feel good. _Really_ good.

I gasped his name as he thrust into me again, and he shivered against me before pushing into me faster and harder. There was no way I was going to regret this; sex – sex with Edward – was like nothing I'd ever even imagined to be possible. There was heat flooding my veins and that coil was so, so tight.

I felt his hands curl in the grass to either side of my head, and he was moaning and growling. God, he was beautiful. I wanted to lick his clenched jaw, run my hands over his flexing muscles. He was too much. I tried to focus on the sounds he made and the expression on his face, but before long, all I could comprehend was the sharp pleasure he inflicted.

"Edward!" I cried as I felt the sudden build-up that told me I was close. I just needed something, anything, to push me over that edge.

"More! Please, harder," I pleaded. His hips snapped sharply against mine as he took me hard, just on the verge of pain, and then the explosion came. My release rocketed through me, wiping every thought from my mind, leaving my body limp and my nerves twitching. I think I might have screamed, and I know my body writhed embarrassingly against his as I shook with the force of my orgasm.

Edward grunted out his climax seconds later, pushing all the way inside as his cold release spilled into me. I struggled to catch my breath as he pulled away and rolled into the grass beside me.

When I opened my eyes, his were closed. He wasn't even looking at me. This was the part I hadn't been thinking about all evening – the part where things got awkward. I scrambled to find my clothes and get dressed before his eyes opened. Edward seeing me naked in the heat of the moment was one thing, but now, when everything was probably…ending, I didn't want to make myself any more vulnerable than I already was.

_No regrets_, I reminded myself as I scrambled into my panties. Maybe it would be an uncomfortable ride back into town, but that wasn't enough to make me sorry. Being with Edward had been physically amazing, without a doubt, but it had also made me feel desired for the first time in my life. How could I regret that?

I realized, as I listened to Edward rustling around, putting on his own clothing, that the strange, lingering sadness I felt wasn't _regret_, per se – not regret for what had passed, at least. There was the regret, though, that we would never be more than this one night – not if his tense silence was any indication. I'd thought, for the little while we were together, that I'd begun to understand him, to really _know_ him, and now, that was all over.

I didn't turn around until I'd finished dressing, hoping to delay the inevitable.

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked me, and I had to look at his face. It wasn't entirely cold, but the casual indifference I'd seen earlier this evening was back.

I nodded and bit my lip against all the things I wanted to say. If I could get through this last part with some dignity, I knew I could get on with my life with my head held high.

Edward put his hand on my lower back, just like he had the first time he led me to his car, and walked us through the trees once more. It felt a bit like walking out of a fairy tale and returning to harsh reality. There was his flashy car, waiting for us on the black asphalt. Already, the clearing seemed like a faraway place.

In the car, we were quiet. He drove far above the speed limit, but I didn't say anything about it; I wasn't exactly inclined to argue against getting home faster.

"I didn't realize you were a virgin," he finally said when we were nearly halfway back to town. I blushed, as much in response to his voice as to his question. "Did I hurt you?"

"No," I replied, glancing over to see his reaction. Nothing. "I mean, no more than was inevitable."

Edward simply nodded. I sighed and stared out the window at the passing landscape. Soon houses came into view, and then businesses. He parked in front of my dorm, and I hurried to get out of the car, flooded with relief. I had done something insane tonight, and I had come out unscathed. Now I was eager to put a night's sleep between myself and this craziness, find some perspective, and go on with life.

"Can I see you again?" Edward asked as my fingers grasped the door handle. I reeled. I'd just been getting comfortable with the idea that I'd had a one-night stand, and he had to ask me that? Did he mean it? He certainly hadn't given the impression that he'd wanted to see me again…but maybe he was out of his depth with this as I was? I doubted it, but it was possible. Why would he bother saying something like that now if he didn't mean it?

I turned my head to look at him, falling effortlessly into the trap of hoping. He looked sincere. I had to give in. "Yes. I – I'm in room 36. Come find me, if you want."

Edward smiled as I climbed out of the car. My heart fluttered. Maybe I had a chance at something more with Edward, after all. I stumbled my way through the dorm, lost in memories and wild hopes. If he would only give me a little time, I thought I could break through to the real person hiding behind the cynicism.

I crept into my room, feeling like a fugitive, and changed quickly into my pajamas before sliding into bed. I was too wired to sleep, but I didn't want to risk waking Angela by doing anything else. She was used to my late hours at the library, but I'd never been out _this_ late before.

I lay for a long time reliving the past few hours, dissecting every moment as I stared at the ceiling. As I drifted off to sleep, I had come to only one conclusion: I liked Edward, and I wanted him to like me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Bonne Foi – BPOV – Chapters 22-24**

**For Amelia, who won this piece and requested this part of the story for her outtake. Sorry I was such a slowpoke, babe.**

* * *

I thought confronting my boyfriend with my suspicions of vampirism would be the weirdest part of my day – the weirdest part of my _life_, actually – but apparently, I had become a magnet for weird.

Edward was a vampire. A vegetarian vampire. Who sparkled. And his creator and her psycho boyfriend had nearly run us off the road and could have very well eaten me alive.

By comparison, meeting the Cullens seemed like a wonderful reprieve. They were all so _human_ by comparison. The town doctor and a bunch of high-schoolers? Yeah, not my worst nightmare come to life. Even Edward, whom I trusted with my life and loved beyond reason, had an edge about him that the Cullens lacked, a wall that kept him from the rest of the world. Meeting the Cullens would be a cake walk.

Or so I thought, until we were pulling up their driveway.

"Good lord." I felt the ridiculousness of my facial expression but couldn't change it. "I know it's a doctor's house, but…wow. Are all you vampires filthy rich or what?"

Edward gave his predictable, nonchalant shrug in response to my awe. "Immortality gives one a lot of time to make money, and very little to use it on."

I wondered for the thousandth time since I'd begun to suspect what he was if I might one day be so cool and unsurprised by the world if he made me like him. Could I ever be that comfortable in my own skin?

"I feel underdressed now," I sighed, knowing that I would feel even more ridiculous in a room full of vampires. With all their beauty and wealth and grace, surely they would find me absurd.

Edward just laughed. "You look overdressed to me." And I smiled because I could always count on him to say something inappropriate to distract me.

My car door opened suddenly, and I jumped, panicked scenarios flying through my mind – James and Victoria had found us, one of the Cullens wanted a snack after all – before I realized it was just Edward standing there.

"You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days," I complained, struggling out of the bucket seat; I really hated his car sometimes. Edward smirked and took my arm, compensating for my shaky legs as we headed for the porch. He was having way too much fun playing the vampire for me. Maybe I should have kept quiet and made him pretend to be human a bit longer.

Alice Cullen was waiting at the door for us. She hadn't changed a bit since I'd last seen her in May, and that surprised me, even though it shouldn't. Even her haircut was exactly the same. It struck me in that moment just how solidly unchanging vampires were. Decades could pass, and Alice Cullen would still look exactly like this, with crazy, spiky hair and a perfect, porcelain face. It was all the more amazing, given that thought, that Edward had changed so much since we'd met.

"Edward, Bella!" Alice cried. I half expected her to throw her arms around us. "I'm so sorry I didn't see it sooner. One minute, everything was fine, and the next, he was going after you. I have no idea what changed so suddenly…"

"He caught our scents," Edward said flatly. I glanced from his clenched jaw to Alice's wide eyes and gathered that this was indeed very unusual.

"From a moving vehicle?"

Edward nodded. "He could smell a vampire and a human together in a car, and that made him curious. He took it as a challenge and decided to try to get Bella away from me."

Though the conversation was significant, I couldn't get past my distraction at the way Edward and Alice interacted. It was odd to see the most important person in my life having a serious conversation with someone I'd gone to high school with as though they'd known each other for years. And yet, he knew Alice better after a few weeks than I did after a few years, and she understood him in a way that I simply couldn't while I was human. Any twinges of jealousy or loneliness that I felt at this revelation were restrained by how very surreal the moment was.

"Ugh, barbarians," Alice said, wrinkling her nose. It took me a moment to catch up with the conversation and realize she was talking about James and Victoria. "Bella, come on inside," she urged me. "I'm sure you've had quite a fright this evening."

"Just a little," I admitted. Alice grabbed my arm like it was the most natural thing in the world and towed me into the living room. I felt an unexpected pang of anxiety when I lost my grip on Edward's arm, but it was replaced by a different kind of anxiety when I saw the three vampires lounging on sofas.

Alice gestured at them. "You remember Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie, of course." Jasper nodded at me and then returned to an eerie stillness. Rosalie and Emmett were on a loveseat together, inseparable, which was just as I remembered. Emmett grinned, all dimples, and Rosalie's cold beauty was as terrifying as ever, especially when she was glaring at my boyfriend like she wanted to douse him in acid. Well, maybe not acid – would acid have any effect on a vampire? They were sort of rock-like, and a strong acid could dissolve rocks –

Alice yanked me onward, through another door. We were entering a kitchen. "Carlisle is at the hospital, but his shift will be over soon. I'm sure he'll be thrilled to see you again. And this is Esme."

I knew I was staring, but I couldn't help it. Esme was the only one of the Cullens I hadn't seen before, and it took a moment to fully digest how impossible such beauty was. But with Esme, there was a little something else…she had that air about her, like the teacher who always got gifts from her students or the matron everyone went to for advice. That _motherliness_ that made you want to spill your guts and have a good long hug.

I shook myself out of my thoughts. Vampires were making me go batty, clearly.

"I'm so pleased to meet you, Bella," Esme said, smiling benevolently from across the countertop. "I was just making some tea; would you like some?"

I blushed, realizing she wasn't 'just making' tea. This was all for my benefit, an act to make the human feel more comfortable. I wished they would just behave as usual; I'd feel much more comfortable acting like a human around them if they didn't call so much attention to it. But I wasn't about to say any of that, so when I opened my mouth, all that came out was, "That would be great, thanks."

"Why don't you come into the kitchen and sit for a spell? You must be rather shaken after tonight," Esme urged. I reached for Edward, missing the comfort of his hand and nervous because I didn't feel shaken and I worried it would all hit me at once. I needed him to anchor me, just in case.

"Are you all right?" Edward's quiet voice asked. I smiled a little, mostly at the look of concern he wore. Edward's feelings didn't often translate to facial expressions.

"Fine," I said, mostly convinced it was true.

"My brave little human," he whispered with a little smile, running his thumb over the edge of my hand. I ducked my head, still overwhelmed by the new level of affection Edward had begun to show since our temporary break-up.

"Please, have a seat," Esme said, pulling me back to the present, and we sat at the small kitchen table. The shiny finish was unmarred, and I imagined the table had rarely, if ever, been used.

Esme presented me with the cup of tea, and as I began to sip it, I realized how much I'd needed this, or something like it. A moment of calm and normalcy after this crazy day.

Edward sat quietly while I chatted with Esme. Talking to her was incredibly easy, and I was grateful that she didn't bring up any of the day's drama. I didn't think I was overly traumatized, necessarily, but my brain had been running at full speed for most of the day, and it needed the break.

After less than an hour, I felt my eyes begin to droop, and to my utter humiliation, I let out a huge yawn in mid-sentence. Evidently, the day was catching up with me.

"Is there somewhere she could sleep?" Edward asked for me. I decided I was too tired to put up a fight.

Alice appeared like a magical bedtime fairy godmother. "We have a room all ready for you two." Again, she took me by the hand and led me away. Maybe she was always this presumptuous with new acquaintances, being a psychic and all. Still, it was unsettling when, two flights of stairs later, she let us into a fully prepared room.

"Here you are," Alice tittered. My eyes traveled over the gigantic bed, a vanity lined with cosmetics, a closet with double doors. "I was expecting you both to visit, so we put this room together for you. There are clothes in the closet and the dresser, and the bathroom is stocked with everything you might need."

I shook my head, overwhelmed. "This is…too much…"

"This is just what she does. You may as well give in," Edward said indulgently. He found her antics amusing, I realized, and the way he looked at her could be something like brotherly affection. It wasn't something I was very familiar with as an only child, but the description fit.

"I like you; you learn fast," Alice grinned. "Well, I'll leave you to settle in."

"Thanks, Alice," I said as she breezed out of the room. Edward gave her a little nod, and it occurred to me to wonder if he was reacting to something thought rather than said. His world must be so different, hearing every thought in the vicinity. I felt a surge of gratitude and something like pride that my mind was silent to him, that I could offer some measure of peace, perhaps.

My sleepiness returned as the shock of our new bedroom wore off, and I went over to the dresser to find something to sleep in. I opened the top drawer first, not sure what I was expecting, but what I found certainly wasn't it. As soon as I realized what I was seeing – piles of scanty lingerie, some of which I wasn't even sure _how_ to wear – I slammed the drawer shut.

"What is it?" Edward asked. I shook my head, too embarrassed to speak. Alice had bought all that for me, which implied a certain expectation of me putting it on, presumably for Edward, and that was just…no.

Edward eased the drawer open, and I saw the slow smile spread across his face. "You'd look good in the corset," he said, his eyes sweeping contemplatively over my body. I hid my face in my hands, thinking about all those vampires downstairs hearing this conversation.

"Perhaps just these? You will need underwear eventually," Edward said, and I reluctantly looked to see what he was holding. A silky bra and matching panties. They were tame in comparison to the rest of the drawer, but Edward's eyes held a hint of excitement, regardless. Normally, I loved that look on his face, but tonight, when we had an audience? Not a chance.

I took the underwear because he was right, I would need it, but that was where I drew the line. "Help me find something to sleep in, please?"

He shrugged compliantly and opened up the second drawer, from which he pulled out a relatively modest pajama set. I took them from him and made the quick decision to change in the bathroom. Getting naked in front of Edward was just asking for trouble.

"Where are you going?" he asked as I headed for the door, proving my point.

"To change in the bathroom," I told him. "I know what you'll want to do if I take off my clothes in here, and I'm not doing that with a bunch of vampires around to hear every little thing."

I could feel the disappointment pouring off him, but I stayed strong and barricaded myself in the bathroom. A ridiculously nice bathroom, I discovered, looking around. I could sort of see the need for a household of vampires to have a nice shower…but was a self-flushing toilet _ever_ necessary?

Still, after I changed, I was grateful to find the drawers stocked with toiletries. While I brushed my teeth, my thoughts tentatively turned to the situation with James and Victoria. The encounter had been terrifying enough, watching Edward fight for me, especially when they moved too fast for me to tell what was happening. But the trouble was hardly over, and I realized my shoulders were tense with fear. They would come for us, and I had a feeling they'd be more than happy to take out anyone in their way, human or vampire. It was bad enough they were in town at all, but what if they went after my dad? What if any of the Cullens got hurt trying to help us? What if Edward…?

The worst part was, it was my fault. I had insisted on coming to Forks. If I we had stayed put like Edward wanted, we wouldn't be in this mess. The most important people in my life wouldn't be in danger right now.

I pushed away that thought and rinsed out my mouth. I couldn't, _wouldn't_, let Edward be hurt.

I headed back to our room, more than ready to curl up with Edward and pretend everything was fine. When I walked in, however, I found him standing by the dresser with a change of clothes. He pulled his shirt off like he'd been waiting on me, and I felt a surge of annoyance.

"You totally could have changed in half the time it took me," I pointed out, doing my best to ignore his well-defined torso.

Edward shrugged, popping the button on his jeans. "You didn't want to tempt me, but you never said I couldn't tempt you." He pushed his jeans and boxers to the floor, presenting himself to me in all his naked glory. I turned away abruptly.

"You're incorrigible." I climbed into bed, curling up on my side and wishing just a little that he could read my mind right now and see what I needed from him.

All of the sudden, he was there, dressed and spooned against my back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

_Upsetting me_. I snorted. "So basically, you're not sorry for trying to persuade me into sex; you're just sorry it didn't work."

"Basically," he said, his typical blunt self. "Do you really expect me to apologize for wanting you? I thought that was something you were usually pretty happy about."

I hated when he was right. "It just feels wrong to even think about sex right now."

"Why?" he asked. He really didn't know.

"Because, Edward," I explained, "people are in danger…you, me, my dad, the Cullens…the whole town! You were right; we shouldn't have come. I couldn't help after all; I've only made things worse."

Edward sighed into my hair. "Bella, you know this isn't your fault. You couldn't see what would happen; even the psychic didn't see it." He paused. "Maybe it's my fault for telling you the vampires were headed here. You'd be sleeping peacefully tonight if I hadn't."

"And you'd be in a whole world of trouble when I found out you'd kept it hidden from me," I argued, realizing we were both having private pity parties tonight. "I just wish there was a way to undo it all. I don't even want to think about what happens now, but I have to. They're going to come after us, aren't they?"

"Not here, they won't," he said darkly. "They're outnumbered, even if the third decides to side with them. They would never risk attacking a house full of vampires."

That only made me feel marginally better. "But we can't stay here forever…what happens on Sunday when we have to leave?"

Edward's arm tightened around my middle. "We're not leaving one second before it's safe for you; your life is more important than your classes or your job." I scowled. "But even so, we'll come up with a plan, some way to resolve this quickly."

"And you'll do that while I'm asleep, I suppose," I grumped.

"Bella, this is –"

"Don't, please." I turned to look him in the eye, needing him to take me seriously. "I know you're going to say something about this being more important than my need for independence, but I have to help somehow. You said that vampire wants to hurt us both – you can't ask me to sit at home and cross-stitch while you're trying to protect me. I love you too much to do that."

He looked back at me with uncharacteristically tender eyes. "I wish I could give you what you want, but Bella, this isn't some backward fairytale. No amount of willpower is going to make it possible for you to ride in and save the day. You simply don't have the necessary weapons…you don't even have the slightest defense against them…"

He was right, again. I was nothing but a weak little human.

"But I could…" I argued, thinking aloud. "I could have those things…if you changed me, made me like you. Then I would be strong and fast, and the vampire would have no reason to touch me."

I was right, I knew I was. James was after me for my blood; he'd have to give up once that was gone. And if it kept the people I loved safe, then it was a worthwhile sacrifice.

Edward pulled back, and my heart hurt with the sudden sting of rejection. "Bella…you don't know what you're asking."

"Then explain it to me. Don't you want me to be like you?" After everything, could he still be so unsure of me?

Edward sat up, running his fingers through his hair. It hurt even more to see him so frustrated, so undecided.

"What I want is irrelevant," he said slowly. "If you truly wanted to be a vampire, then I wouldn't deny you. But not now. You're afraid and you're not thinking clearly. Do you realize what you'll have to give up with your humanity? You'll no longer be able to see your human friends, your family. Even if you can conquer your bloodlust, they will see the difference. Eventually, they will realize you're not aging. You will have to let them go…and they will all die, while you live on. I know you don't see children in your future, but even the option to adopt would be gone once you were a vampire. If you chose this life, Bella…everything would change for you."

I digested his words, realizing he'd probably thought about this much more than I had. I'd considered only the positive ramifications, but he saw everything. He was thinking of what was best for me. What he hadn't said was what _he_ wanted, though, and that was what I most wanted to know.

"You're right," I admitted. "I wasn't thinking about the consequences. But you didn't answer my question, Edward. Do _you_ want me to be a vampire?"

He closed his eyes, and I waited breathless for his answer. I wanted forever with him. Did he want it, too?

"Bella…I don't know. I…love you as you are, and I would love you as a vampire. That's all I know."

I could feel the effort it took for him to say that much. Edward was still new to love, to caring about another person at all, and I was leaping too far ahead. Just because he'd grown so much didn't mean he had caught up yet. As impatient as I was to have it all, right now, I had to give him time to catch up.

I drew myself up behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, knowing he would understand the physical gesture more than anything I could say right now.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm pushing again, aren't I?"

He pulled me effortlessly into his lap. "You shouldn't have to apologize for that."

I shook my head, sensing how much he wanted to be on the same page as I was, and I kissed the nearest part of him, the edge of his jaw. "But it doesn't matter now, right? Everything will be fine, and we'll have plenty of time to think about this later."

"That's right. We'll have plenty of time when this is over." He needed convincing as much as I did. It was easy for me to get lost in his stoic confidence, but I knew better by now, or at least I should. I'd been so busy worrying that I hadn't stopped to think he might be as scared as I was underneath the stone façade. Perhaps he'd needed comfort from me all along and hadn't known any way to reach for it other than coaxing me into sex.

I kissed him soundly, my beautiful, emotionally stunted vampire. "Plenty of time," I reassured us both in a whisper against his mouth. I moved my lips urgently, pushing my tongue against his lower lip, needing to be what he needed. His arms were tight around me, and I knew a kiss wouldn't be enough.

I pulled back with difficulty, meeting his eyes. "I think I changed my mind."

"About what?" Edward asked, obviously not at all on the same wavelength.

I tensed. This was the last chance to turn back. No, I was going to do this, vampires downstairs be damned. Steeling myself, I pulled my pajama top over my head. The way his eyes raked over me made me feel bold.

"I need to feel close to you, and I don't care who's listening." Just let those vampires stick _that_ in their pipe and smoke it.

"Come here," Edward said, low and gravelly, but he came to me, throwing me back to the bed. Dazedly, I registered the burn of his lips on mine, the tingle-inducing brush of his cotton T-shirt against my taut nipples. The rest of the world faded away, and I scrambled to pull away his shirt, needing his skin. He yanked it off quickly, and then his lips were on my neck, teasing all the sensitive places. He kissed his way down to my breasts, and my clit throbbed painfully as he sucked a nipple into his mouth. Then he was instantly at my other breast, circling the tip with his tongue. My body went weak, and I struggled to understand how he could still do this to me, how I never grew desensitized.

"Take – take your clothes off." The demand came more from my body than my head. "I need to feel you."

He groaned and was up and naked and back in the space of one breath. I reached out to touch his solid abdomen, a quick stop on the way to his rigid cock, but he slipped away too fast. Settling back at my feet, he pulled away first the pajama bottoms, then the panties I'd put on mere minutes ago.

"You should really consider wearing more of that lingerie." He ran his hands up my legs, setting off electric currents. "It's so much fun to take off."

I laughed, more out of giddiness than amusement. My brain was barely functioning. "What's the point of wearing lingerie if I'll never be able to keep it on?"

"To drive me crazy." His lips ran up the inside of my left thigh. I trembled. "And make me want you more than I can stand…"

"Well, I wouldn't want – oh!" The point of his tongue touched my clit, a quick spark, and I lost whatever thought I was working on. "Never mind. I do want."

He chuckled, a purr of vibration against my tender skin. His tongue swirled around my clit, making me weak and hot through every party of my body – every part except my sex, where I was tight and swollen and aching. He slipped two fingers inside me, and I let out the moan I'd been holding in. He was there only a moment before he crawled up my body instead.

"C'mere," I breathed, so ready to have him. I placed my hands on his face and urged him to me. Our mouths joined, open and searching, and he pressed inside of me. I gasped, always shocked at the feel of him, thick and long and cold inside of me. My body welcomed him eagerly, clutching, coaxing him deeper.

"Bella," he moaned, rocking slightly against me, pulling away only enough to make the return blissfully sweet. His face relaxed with pleasure, and his eyes roamed over me half-closed.

"Yes, Edward." I wrapped my arms around him, needing more contact. "Closer…deeper."

Edward nuzzled my shoulder and slid his hands beneath me, holding me to him. I couldn't remember a time when we'd been this close making love. The feel of so much of his skin on mine was intense. He took me in shallow thrusts, pressing again and again at the deepest part of me. I floated in a hot haze while my orgasm built slowly and powerfully. I clutched my arms and legs around him as if I could somehow get him any closer. I lost myself in the feel of him and the smell of him, pressing my face into his hair, sliding my hands over the ridges and planes of his back.

My orgasm came out of nowhere, sneaking up so suddenly that I only had time to bury my face in Edward's shoulder before my body seized with pleasure. I muffled my cry in his shoulder, and I was still shuddering against him when he came with a long moan.

He was very still afterward, continuing to hold me against him. Usually he was quicker to recover than I, so I relished the moment, running my fingers through his rumpled hair. It was still hard to believe he was really mine.

After a few minutes, he let out a soft breath and rolled onto his back with what looked like great effort.

"Maybe you needed that more than I did after all," I laughed. The space between his arm and his body was open for me, as usual, and I nestled into his side happily. Without hesitation, he pulled the covers over me, and I sank into the familiar comfort.

"I think you're right," Edward agreed, sounding tired for the first time since we'd met.

"I love you," I said, hoping the coming events wouldn't cause him to pull away. "Remember that."

He was quiet, unresponsive, but I decided not to let it get to me. He had a lot on his mind.

"Mmm, okay. Now I'm really tired," I yawned, way too tired to keep thinking about anything. "It's been…one long day."

I felt Edward nod. "Yes…yes, it has."

It took only minutes for me to fall asleep.

* * *

When I woke, it was still dark, and I was alone. That alone didn't worry me; I'd expected Edward to spend my sleeping hours with the Cullens. As I became aware of my surroundings, however, I heard voices conversing downstairs, and not all of them were familiar.

Curious, and admittedly a little uneasy away from Edward, I put my pajamas back on and crept down the two flights of stairs to the living room. Getting closer, I thought the new voices sounded somewhat familiar, almost like…Jacob Black? But there was no way he could be visiting the Cullens at this hour.

At the bottom of the stairs, I saw Edward, and only Edward, because he was blocking the view of the rest of the living room. But the vibe here was definitely tense.

"Edward?" I ventured. "What's going on? I thought I heard –"

Edward erupted in a sudden flurry of movement, sinking into a defensive crouch before me, and over his head, I saw the visitors.

There were four of them, all barefoot, and the three boys were shirtless. But that wasn't the weirdest part.

"Jake? I thought I heard your voice. Leah, Seth? Sam? What are you doing here?" It was like a Quileute tribal meeting in the Cullens' living room. Had someone been hurt on the reservation? One of Charlie's friends? …Had the vampires attacked there?

"What are _you_ doing here?" Jake asked, and I got the distinct feeling this wasn't an emergency, especially given the way every single person in the room stared at me.

"You know them?" Edward asked, urgent, and it finally occurred to me to wonder why he'd moved as if to protect me when I'd walked in. Wait, why hadn't any of the visitors reacted to Edward's speed? The only explanation was that he believed the reservation rumors that the Cullens were somehow dangerous and supernatural. I'd thought they were all crazy until recently.

"Well, yeah. My dad is friends with practically everyone down at La Push…"

No one was answering me, and I began to get frustrated. Something was definitely amiss. "Seriously, what are you doing here in the middle of the night? Is someone hurt or something?"

"It's a long story," Jake said, and he took a step toward me. All the vampires, save Carlisle and Esme, seemed to go on high-alert at his movement. Edward stood tense as a guitar string in front of me. What was going on?

Jacob was either unaware of or unconcerned by the severe tension in the room. "Does Charlie know you're here?"

What? All this, and Jacob's main focus was whether my dad knew of my whereabouts?

"No," I snapped, "he does not, nor does he need to. I am a legal adult."

Jacob stepped toward me again, which struck me as a stupid move, given the initial reaction to his approach. This time it was twice as bad, with all the vampires in the room orienting around me – like they needed to protect me from him. Edward even nudged me back a step.

"Edward? What's going on here?" I asked.

"The boy thinks you're not safe here." His voice was a low rumble, revealing the anger bubbling beneath his cool exterior. And just like that, I was angry, too.

"Jacob! I thought you knew better than to go along with your father's stupid prejudices!"

"Stupid prejudices?" Jacob said, his voice menacing, and I felt a tingle of fear down my spine. "If you knew what they were –"

"If _you_ knew what they really were, you'd realize how wrong you are!" I retorted. How dare he insult the Cullens in their own home, especially when they'd done nothing but help this town?

The next few moments were more surreal than anything else I'd encountered today.

Before my eyes, Jacob began to shake, thoroughly _vibrating_ where he stood, and I knew something was very, very wrong. This wasn't something medical, not a seizure. This could only be supernatural.

"Get back," Edward ordered me, sinking in front of me again, snarling like an enraged, wild animal. I'd never seen him this way before, but I wasn't afraid, not when he was the one thing standing between me and whatever was going on with Jake.

There was a sudden burst of color. I saw scraps of denim go flying, and then…then, where Jacob had stood less than a full second ago, a gigantic wolf appeared, its huge teeth bared at Edward and me.

I had only time to gasp before the room exploded in motion again. Alice appeared beside me. Carlisle and Jasper were no longer where they stood a moment ago. And then I heard it, a resounding crash like thunder, just before I saw Edward locked in a death-hold with the wolf.

Panic swelled inside me at the horrific sounds their fighting made – screeching like nails on a chalk board, vicious growls, floorboards breaking. This couldn't be happening. Not Edward. Nothing could happen to Edward. I wouldn't survive it.

As suddenly as the fight began, it stopped. Carlisle and Jasper held Edward away from the furious beast, and where Sam, Seth, and Leah had been, now three more wolves stood, herding the first out of the house. Four wolves were four humans had been, and one of them tried to attack me.

"Edward?" It was the only word I could find, but it worked magic. He was there instantly, holding me in a tight embrace, and I could feel that he was solid and whole. He was safe, and I was safe, and now, if I could just find out what was going on, I would be okay.

"Edward, what just happened?" I ran it over in my mind, and couldn't believe my own conclusions. "Are they – are they _werewolves_?"

"…Yes," he answered, confusion in his voice. "Perhaps someone else should explain? I'm not very familiar with them."

And so I stood clinging to Edward while Carlisle informed me that Charlie's buddies down at the Rez really were wolf-warriors built to protect their tribe from vampires. As a matter of fact, they got a real kick out of it.

"They won't – they won't try to hurt Edward, will they?" Of course, he was my first thought. My fingers sort of hurt from how hard I was holding onto him, but I couldn't stop myself. He pulled me in closer.

"The wolves have never harmed any of our guests, even those friends of ours who do not share our diet," Carlisle said, and even after all the medical diagnoses he'd offered me, I was not immune to his calm and soothing voice. "As long as we stay on our side of the boundary line, they will keep the peace. Incidents like the one we've had tonight are…rare."

Rare, but not impossible. "And if one of them loses it again?" I asked, remembering the way Jacob had snapped, like someone had flipped a switch. He was terrifying, and he'd attacked _Edward_. "What then?"

"Bella, I'm the last person you should be worried about," Edward said, altogether too calm considering what had transpired. "I can handle a little werewolf."

I gaped at him. "Little? That thing was huge! Did you see his teeth?"

"And have you felt my skin?" Edward chuckled. His confidence was annoying. Didn't he see how important this was?

"Relax, Bella," he urged. "I'm the last thing you should worry about right now."

He kept saying that, but didn't he realize he was the _only_ thing I worried about? First psycho vampires had set their creepy red eyes on him, and now there were vampire-eating werewolves in the mix, too? But then, there were vampires around that needed to be eaten. …That was why the wolves had come, I realized. They would only voluntarily seek out the Cullens, whom they evidently despised, if they felt their territory was at risk. So they must know about the other vampires; the question was, would they do anything about it?

I voiced my question to Carlisle.

"Perhaps," he said. "If the vampires wander into their territory, then they will certainly act to protect their land…they aren't allowed to hunt on our territory, typically, but perhaps we could come to an arrangement. Their aid would be beneficial."

"The leader is coming back," Edward chimed in, annoyed. "He wants your word that you'll keep me in line."

Rosalie, whom I hadn't heard say a word all night, let out a snort. "It would help if the mutt could control his litter."

"Rosalie, hostility won't help matters," Carlisle chided. I felt a surge of gratitude for his presence. If anyone could help us through this huge mess, it was Dr. Cullen.

Heavy footsteps announced Sam's return. We all watched him carefully, on guard.

"I apologize for Jacob's outburst," he said to Carlisle, his eyes flickering briefly to me. "He is still young and inexperienced in dealing with…your kind."

"Of course," Carlisle said diplomatically. "No one was hurt; no harm done. Have the new vampires encroached upon your territory?"

"They have. We wanted to make sure they weren't uninformed friends of yours before we attacked…but now that you have confirmed the danger, we will not hesitate to hunt them."

I only vaguely listened to the rest of the conversation, considering all the obstacles we faced. James wanted me, my blood. Victoria would help him – and I'd gotten the distinct impression that she had designs on Edward, even though he obviously hadn't meant much to her when she'd changed him and abandoned him. All of that made James jealous, which meant he'd be eager to get rid of Edward. Then there was a third vampire that had been with them; who knew what he was doing at this moment. And now there were werewolves – _werewolves_, for goodness' sake – who might help or who might go nuts and try to kill the love of my life.

Sam and Carlisle exchanged their goodbyes, and Carlisle turned back to us with a grave face.

"The wolves' aid may be useful in coping with this threat, but I am not confident in their ability to handle these particular vampires. We will still need a plan of our own to ensure Bella's safety."

"And Edward's," I insisted. "James wants him dead, too."

"Bella's safety first," Edward said. "I can handle the male."

I wanted to argue that he shouldn't try, but Jasper spoke before I could.

"We need to get her out of this area. As long as she's in Forks, her father is in danger, too. We can't devote all our resources to the problem at hand as long as we have to protect her father, too."

God, Charlie. How could I for one second have forgotten the danger this posed to him? If Edward and I were the targets of James' twisted game, then Charlie might become an unlucky pawn, whether I was near him or not.

"What's to stop him from going after Charlie anyway? What if he decides to…take him hostage or something?"

Jasper scowled. "Then we need to make sure he thinks he can't use your father against you."

"Is that really necessary?" Edward looked unhappy. "If she damages her relationship with her father –"

"Wait, what? What are you talking about?" How had we gone from protecting my dad to a ruined relationship?

"The male needs to think your father means nothing to you, that you couldn't be persuaded into action by a threat to him. And he will only believe that if he sees you cutting ties with your father firsthand," Edward explained.

"No! This isn't my dad's fault…he shouldn't have to suffer because of me. There has to be a better way," I insisted. I waited, breathless, for them to come up with another option. Surely seven vampires could think of a way to get out of this mess.

"What if we use the wolves to protect Charlie?" Alice said. I could have kissed her. "He's friends with people on the reservation, right? Let's convince one of them to invite him for an extended stay…come up with some excuse important enough that Charlie would be willing to put aside his other responsibilities to stay there."

I didn't have to wait for further reaction. Jasper was immediately smiling. "Of course. Brilliant, as always."

"I'll make the call," Carlisle announced, out of the room before he finished speaking. I let out a breath now that I knew Charlie would be all right, but there were still a lot of problems left to solve.

"What next, then?" I asked the room at large. "Can we stay here, if Charlie is taken care of…?"

One look at Jasper's face told me it wouldn't be that simple. "It would still be better to draw them away from this area…at least deeper into isolation. If any of the townspeople get caught in the crossfire…it could be very bad for us. Might even draw the attention of the Volturi."

The whole town, massacred because of me? When had this gotten so out of control?

"Where do we go, then?"

"North, I suppose," Jasper shrugged. "If we move into the wilderness, it might be easier to split them up, take them down individually… With humans around, it's too easy for them to escape. How do you feel about camping, Bella?"

Camping? Out in the woods? With vampires?

Edward tucked me closer into his body. "Is that a good idea? If she's near this at all –"

"She _has _to be," Jasper said, and I began to feel uncomfortably like a prop. "The male will follow her trail, and he won't be fooled by any attempts to throw him off it."

"He's right," Alice said quietly, which only made Edward tenser. "What you were planning, Edward…it wouldn't work. This is the best chance."

It took a moment to realize I was gnawing my lip. We were going out in the woods in the hopes of luring in some hungry vampires. That sounded like a recipe for disaster to me.

Esme stepped forward, smiling gently. "Don't worry, Bella – we'll take care of you." She turned around. "Rosalie, won't you come and help me get together the camping supplies?"

They left wordlessly. Something was weird about Rosalie's attitude, and I made a note to ask Edward about it later, since most of her dirty looks ended up in his direction.

Carlisle returned, and he, Edward, and Jasper sorted out the final plans. I listened helplessly, knowing there wasn't really anything I _could_ do to help, as much as I wanted to. I was the bait, nothing more.

Hours later, I found myself ensconced in a tent in the middle of nowhere, a clearing in the woods. Edward sat inside with me while Alice stood guard outside. The rest of the Cullens were out there somewhere, searching for the vampires that had every intention of ruining my life, maybe even ending it.

I'd slept off and on, kept warm by a space heater and a sleeping bag, but I woke at the sound of Edward's voice. Even though he spoke low and fast, the tone urged me awake, as though my subconscious was trained to react to him.

"What's going on?" I asked him, unable to gather anything from the low hum that was his conversation with Alice.

"Alice heard something close by," Edward said. He lay beside me, seemingly relaxed, but I doubted that was the case. "It's probably nothing, but she went to go check it out."

"Should she be going off alone?" I wondered, trying to imagine tiny Alice going up against James and Victoria. As much as I didn't want to underestimate Alice, it didn't seem favorable.

"Probably not," Edward sighed, inwardly as worried as I was. "But it was her choice, and I couldn't leave you here alone to go with her. I'm sure she'll be fine. The others are close enough that they'll hear if there's trouble, I think."

"I hope so." I scooted closer to him, seeking the comfort that I wasn't getting from his words. I wished we were truly alone; I was woman enough to admit that I could use a more extensive form of physical comfort. "How much longer do you think we'll be out here?"

"Could be a few days," Edward said, and I winced. I wasn't much of a camper. "Looks like Alice brought plenty of food for you, though. That girl's more prepared than a Boy Scout."

I could just imagine her in the uniform. "She's very…exuberant, that's for sure." And she was gone, for the moment…I studied Edward's face. His skin was so smooth. "Will she be gone very long?"

Edward gave me the trying-to-read-my-mind face. "Probably not. Why do you ask?"

My face heated up, and Edward let out a surprised laugh. "You wanted to have sex out here?"

"Like you've never wanted to have sex in inappropriate situations!" I retorted, feeling defensive. I even slapped at his chest, as useless as that gesture was. "I just…with the stress of everything, I feel very…_needy_ right now. I need to feel close to you."

"Would it help if I joined you in the sleeping bag?" he asked.

"Yes, please," I agreed readily, and I wonder why I'd been embarrassed. Edward was the king of inappropriately timed sexual propositions.

I lowered the zipper, and Edward slipped in with a ridiculous amount of grace. I had to wriggle around like a fish on land to get into this thing. We were squashed together in the small space.

"Much better," I sighed. Edward shifted a bit, and I found myself half on top of him. I moved my thigh up a bit, knowing what I'd find.

"_Bella_," Edward hissed.

"What?" We both knew exactly _what_, but I liked to provoke him.

He pursed his lips, and just like that, I was pinned underneath him with his hips between my legs. Yes, this was a good arrangement. I gripped him by the hair, hoping to coax him down for a kiss.

"You'd better be quiet," he warned, though the way he groped at my chest really contradicted his message. "We wouldn't want to draw any unwelcome attention."

"If you kiss me, it'll make me keep quiet," I pointed out, displeased at the reminder of the danger we were in. The whole point of this was to forget.

Edward lowered his head and let me kiss him. He was obviously preoccupied with what his hands were up to, but I didn't mind, because his hands were doing wonderful, wonderful things. I amused myself nibbling at his lips while his hands snuck under my pajamas – one heading north, the other, south. When he found my clit and my right nipple at the same time, I gasped into his mouth.

His slid two fingers inside me, exploring tender skin, while his thumb circled my clitoris. Floating in his touch, I kissed him and kissed him. What we were doing felt shockingly intimate, though it was arguably the least intimate thing we'd ever done. It was the way he touched me, I think. Like my body was something important he had to study and learn by heart.

I was reaching my peak fast. I tugged at Edward's hair, trying to hold on longer and prolong the feeling. Still, my hips arched up, struggling to get more. When I felt the wave cresting, I moved my mouth to Edward's neck, knowing I would need to muffle my reaction.

And there it was. My body seized with the initial explosion of heat and light. I sank my teeth into Edward's neck, at least as much as anything could sink into his skin. I loosened my death-grip on him, feeling soft and fuzzy around the edges.

Edward pulled away, making a weird, laughing, groaning sound. My cozy feeling of satiation flipped right back to lust while I watched him lick his long fingers clean. Now that was just indecent. He simply shouldn't be allowed to do such things.

"Are you practicing to be a vampire or something?" he asked, clearly amused, touching the spot I'd bitten. Of course, there wasn't even an indentation.

"It was the only way I could keep from making noise," I defended. Looking down between our bodies, I noticed two things – one, his shirt had ridden up, and two, he was sporting one serious erection. Was it really sick of me to want him here, now? I put my hands on the exposed sliver of his back and drifted upward. It wasn't that sick, I decided.

"Has Alice returned yet?" I wondered.

"No." Edward's voice was tight.

I bit my lip. One of my hands grazed his crotch to tempt him, even though I seriously doubted he would refuse me, and anyway, my seductive skills were so pitiful as to be pointless. "Do you think we have time to…?" Maybe I could live with Alice coming back and hearing us. I'm sure she'd seen and heard it all before.

Edward sucked in a breath. "We shouldn't, but…I need you too badly to ignore."

"Good." I unbuttoned his jeans. There was no time to waste on pleasantries here. Anyway, we'd already taken care of the foreplay. A great deal of squirming ensued while he tried to get my bottom half naked, and I worked on freeing enough of him from his clothing.

"Finally," I sighed, getting my hand around him. He groaned into my neck, a vibration that shuddered across my skin.

"Do you think you're ready…?" He was unbuttoning my top. I almost laughed. I was _so_ ready.

"Yes," was all I said, shivering when the air hit my breasts. "But if I'm going shirtless, you are, too." Fair was fair, after all. He didn't protest.

"Now?" he asked, holding himself above me.

"Now," I confirmed, already wrapping my legs around his hips. I wanted him close, and I wanted him in me. That didn't seem like much to ask.

I let out a contented hum when he slid inside me. These days, it felt more natural to have him in me than not.

Edward held his body close to mine. My skin had its own private conversation with his. He moved quickly, the speed of his hips belying the otherwise relaxed mood. His slow kisses came in contrast to our urgency.

"I'm close," I admitted after what could only have been a minute or less.

"Me too." He shifted a little, causing his pelvis to hit my clit, and given the pace he had set, it became a constant pressure that grew rapidly.

"Fuck," I cursed.

It took me suddenly, and he followed almost instantly.

Just like that, it was over. I struggled to catch my breath, to regain some level of function. I wished I could stay here in this moment just a little longer, with his body in and on mine. Just the two of us, no worries, no fears.

* * *

**This bit will eventually be incorporated into the full BPoV, if I decided to go all the way through with it. For now, I hope you enjoyed another peek into Bella's mind.**


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